Still dealing with anxiety, but I think I might have a way to handle it. Instead of feeling out of control because I keep running across plot issues (why is Person X doing this? I didn’t get around to figuring out his motivation! Shit!), I am going to write the story as I know it, however flawed, and keep a list of all the issues as they pop up. That way my subconscious can chew on specific issues, rather just on me in general.
Edited to add: Of course, I left my Problems list at home and I’m at work, so the anxiety is strong, lol.
So for the last few days, writing has been flying along great, but my anxiety has been through the roof. I think it’s kind of related.
With the writing going by so quickly, I don’t have time to make sure I’ve gotten everything right, and I think that’s triggering my anxiety. When it first hit, I was able to work though it and realize that I’d included an trigger event that never gets resolved in the story. I’d never even thought about it till I was writing it down, lol. So that was haunting me. I figured it out (if there’s a second story, it will come into play), which should have relieved the anxiety, right.
I also hit a section that I don’t have thoroughly plotted out. I know the next major scene, but I need all the bits to line up. Except, this is nanowrimo, you’re just supposed to write and figure out the fixes later. I’m having a surprising amount of difficulty with that this year.
So I’m writing the grey area, trying to pull details together, and I’m not sure if I’m going in the right direction with this, or if I’m missing something important. You know that feeling like you’ve forgotten something important, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? That times a thousand.
I do have the option to skip ahead. I’m just not sure if that will ease the anxiety, or just make it worse.
I haven’t been updating, but I have been writing!
I went with my snippet from a previous nano, and so far, so great! It’s flowing pretty well, and I’ve finally hit the scene that gave me the inspiration for the story, so the writing for the next few days should really flow.
I have had to fight off the inner editor a lot, though. Writing outside of nanowrimo requires a completely different mentality; you figure out what exactly you want to say, you write, you think as you write, and you edit a bit as you go along.
Writing during nanowrimo involves turning off that part of your brain. You write, you ignore how you feel/think about what you’ve just written, and keep on trucking. Any kind of critical analysis is for after November 30th.
Needless to say, it’s been a bit difficult to switch back to nano writing. I probably still spend a portion of every day actively reminding myself that it’s okay to ignore problems or mis-written sections. The point here is just to get shit written.
During the last week I managed to figure out what I wanted to write this year. Yay! I’m being a ‘rebel’, as I’m not starting a new story from scratch, but taking one of the snippets I wrote in 2015 to make that year’s 50k and working on the rest of it.
It’s urban fantasy, vampires, werewolves and fae folk, oh my! My own versions, of course.
If that peters out, I have another story or three that I could write scenes for, but I’m hoping to be able to stick with one story again this year.