jealousy

It’s easy for anxiety to lead to envy and jealousy.

I have friend, a local who does NaNo each year along with me. It’s nice to go out to coffee with fellow writers during November! We can moan and celebrate in person.

But my friend doesn’t have my anxiety, and so their writing can keep moving forward, be edited and (self) published. They’re working on their third novel in their series.

And I envy that. I wish I could just throw my words out into the world like that, and not feel like I’m going to curl into a ball and die.  And that envy gets awfully dark, as I sit there and sulk because I want what they have. A self-published book, only with my name on it, and my crappy story between the covers!

Jealousy is easy to come by. Anxiety feeds it. I wish they both would go away.

I don’t have any answers for this. The best I can do is try and remember I’m doing what’s right for me, and try to stick to the pleasure of having a happy friend.

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