ugly duckling

So at the encouragement of a local nano’er, I decided to do the July Camp NaNo, and they invited me to their cabin. I’ve mentioned this before, I think, but the cabins are sort of like little groups of writers, with a private chat widget, where we write our own thing, and not only get to feel the surge of making our own goals *but* also have a group total, to which our individual wordcounts all add in. I guess this is to give everyone a reason to encourage each other. I’m of two minds about this, but that’s a different post, lol.

Everyone else in my group self-publishes and does stuff to promote their books. As you can guess, I’m feeling a little bit alien. And by a little bit, I mean a fucking lot. Like, I honestly don’t care about tips for advertising, or which self-publisher conventions are the best for networking.

Did I mention that in addition to having anxiety issues, I’m also an introvert? (This blog doesn’t count. Shhh. If I keep telling myself that, it won’t count, okay?)

I can fangirl with the best of ’em over stuff I like, and I can chat for hours online over why I do or do not like a style of fiction. But when all the posts have to do with publishing stuff, I’m uncomfortable and a little bored.

I should leave the group, but that leads me to the problem of what to tell my friend.

“Sorry, but it was super weird there”?

“Sorry, but I don’t want to hang out with so-perky-they-must-be-fake people?”

And this is not me saying all self-published writers are asshats. My friend, who invited me to this cabin, is not an asshat. But during the process of writing, I don’t want to hear about anything outside of the process of writing. Not in a ‘writing’ space. And yes, this makes me just as self-absorbed as my cabin mates, but at least I’m focused on the point of NaNo; writing.

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One thought on “ugly duckling

  1. x934z says:

    Makes sense to me. When I think of publishing in any form it all equals expense and hassles and stress. One of my friends is traditionally published and oy, what a process. Self-publishing … argh. It’s a distraction and a bloody downer in my book (the one I started writing and gave up on ages ago). 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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