Until NaNoWriMo and I still don’t know what I’m going to write.
I’ve been procrastinating, focusing a lot on the story I’m writing for my critique group, and now I’m hitting the panic stage, lol. Well, it’s more of a nervous titter than an actual laugh, but ‘lol’ will do.
So first the positive; my critique group story is going really well! I’ll call it CG story for now. I haven’t titled it, as I can’t think of a goddammed thing. I’m sure something will turn up. Anyway, it’s inspired by scenes from two movies; The Ninth Gate and The Devil Rides Out/ The Devil’s Bride. My story is basically ‘guy tries to stop cultists from summoning a demon’ with a few twists.
Thanks to Halloween being so close, I recently rewatched The Devil’s Bride, and it made me rethink one of the fixes I’d planned from of the critiques I’d received. Namely, I’d unintentionally introduced two of the MCs as a couple/coworkers. Since they barely know each other, I’d intended to make it clear that they weren’t. Now however, after refreshing my memory of the source materials, I’m going to take that unintended link and use it to write a ‘one week earlier’ scene that I hadn’t realized I needed until now.
But before I can get working on that, there’s NaNo. I know I could rebel and work on bits and pieces of various stories, including my CG story. I’ve done that before. I just really wanted to do a traditional NaNo this year.
I’ve gone over my list of unwritten stories and can feel a bit of a zing from a few of them, but mostly it’s been a bit… meh. I was feeling frustrated about it and started analyzing it over the last few days. I think I know a few reasons why.
- Most years I use NaNo to escape from life. Lately though, I’ve been pretty happy. I’m the healthiest I’ve been in twenty years, I’m writing on a semi-regular basis, and nothing crisis-like has happened in at least six months. I basically don’t have anything to escape from, so I need to work on how I think about writing.
- A lot of my story ideas have some pretty dark and heavy elements. I’m just not feeling it; my inner monster is feeling rather sleepy these days. I want to write something happy, dammit.
So I either have to take one of those unwritten story ideas and rework it, which makes me anxious, or come up with something brand new, which also makes me anxious. I’m leaning toward the first; if I can’t fix/adapt an old story, I shouldn’t call myself a writer!